The Flying Fish
by RosieRoe
Summary: Brittany comes to visit Kurt at Dalton and gives the warblers a shock


Disclaimer: Because Ryan Murphy refuses to share glee so it is in no way mine.

Yeah second story! This one is funny (hopefully) but not romantic. Also I know Pavarotti is dead and that somewhere only we know was performed in the McKinley courtyard but I'm just ignoring these facts. This is how I think the warblers would react if they met Brittany.

Kurt's point of view

_This could be the end of everything__  
><em>_so why don't we go__  
><em>_somewhere only we know?_

Blaine stared at me while he crooned that last verse while the rest of the warblers doo-oped behind him. It's going to be sad leaving here after I finally mastered the art of doo-oping but that's not the point. The point is that I'm leaving the warblers for good. I am really going to miss them even though it was hard to take any of them seriously after seeing those video's on tumblr that some sophomore made. Though I think it really pissed of Wes and when Thad found out who made them he screamed you mock us sir at him. It was rather amusing.

Another thing I will miss about the Warbler's is that watching them perform is so entertaining. One minute their sitting at their desks, with their gavel's, calling each other sir and putting warbler before everyone's name then BAM they just broke into song. It's hilarious.

__"Now warbler Kurt we are all very sorry to see you go so now we will all take the time to say..." Wes started before the choir room doors opened.

"Dolphin" I heard a very familiar soft voice say. I turned around and there was Brittany wearing street clothing. Hmm this is an interesting development. I look around and notice that all of my fellow warbler's are looking quite happy (all boys school, for a straight boy you can get very lonely) with a mixture of confusion (she just called me a dolphin).

"BRITTANY" I heard another familiar voice yell. There was Quinn wearing what looked like one of her first trimester maternity dresses. Dear god I thought I threw all those out. "What is the rule when were in unfamiliar places"

"I have to hold your hand, just like when I cross the street" Brittany replied looking very proud of herself for remembering "I'm also not allowed to respond to facebook friend requests of people with the name Hugo Pume or let the guys at our high school to doctor's inspections on me.

"Good job Brittany" Said Quinn smiling at her. By now every single warbler was looking at Brittany and Quinn trying to see if they were kidding (besides Thad, he was trying to look down Brittany shirt, it was rather low cut).

"Can I snuggle dolphin now" said Brittany smiling at me before winking at Thad after she caught him looking at her (but she closed both of her eyes so the wink was a bit unsuccessful).

"Sure" said Quinn. Brittany immediately bounded over to me and plopped down in my lap. Then right in front of my boyfriend, all the warblers and two of my teacher's she kissed me straight on the lips with even a bit of tongue.

"I missed Chris so much" she said smiling at me "I almost missed him as much as I missed you but not as much because I love you". Every single one of the warbler's (sans Blaine, actually he looked a bit annoyed and was that jealousy) looked impressed.

"Why do all the gay always get the hot chicks" I heard Wes mutter to David. "Also who's Chris"? Oh god she's going to tell them about Chris. I know I should have mentioned to her not to talk about the fact she names people's tongue's that she makes out with (she named my tongue Chris).

Brittany suddenly looked over at Wes "That's what some guy on the foot-ball team said to Rachel when she dressed like Britney Spears from her hit me baby one more time video, which she could wear but me and Santana couldn't have shirtless day"

Now every single guy in the in room was staring at Brittany with awe in their eyes "You have shirtless days" said Thad looking at Brittany like she was some kind of god.

"Only for a few minutes before Mr. Shuester made me put my shirt back on" Brittany said suddenly staring intently at Pavarotti.

"BITCH! JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE A HOBBITY, JEWISH FRIENDLESS LOSER DOES NOT MEAN I"M ALLOWING YOU TO TAKE OVER THIS MISSION TO SEE KURT" screamed a female voice from somewhere down the hall. All of the warbler's stared in horror at the voices coming from outside, some of them were cowering. A visit from two pretty, blond, calm and slightly simple girls is a joy. But add another psycho one in and suddenly all of them are desperate to get away.

"PLEASE SANTANA, THIS WAS MY IDEA! JUST BECAUSE YOURE MORE POPULAR THAN ME, TALLER THAN ME AND ARE A BIGGER SLUT (on slut the yelling actually managed to get louder) THAN ME DOES NOT MEAN YOU CAN TAKE OVER MY PLAN TO MAKE AN INPROMPTU VISIT TO KURT WHICH I PLANNED WHILE YOU MADE OUT WITH BRITTANY AT LUNCH" screamed back a very annoyed sounding Rachel Berry.

"Santana is my girlfriend" said Brittany to the room of terrified of Warbler's who looked like they would enjoy jumping out of the window to escape the psycho, screaming girls.

"Britt, who else besides you, Quinn and apparently Rachel and Santana is here" I asked Brittany trying to ignore the two screaming down the hallway.

"Oh Mercedes and Tina are also here, they were the ones who planned this improptle visit to come see you" Britney said before gesturing to Pavarotti "Is that your leader?".

"It's impromptu, Britney, impromptu" I said discreetly trying to slide her of my lap, ignoring her comment on Pavarotti being our leader "how's glee club".

Britney's face brightened obviously happy I asked a question that she was able to answer which isn't a common occurrence for her. "Well Coach Sylvester tried to shoot me out of a cannon so I quit the cheerio's and she took my picture that the cannon drew for me". Then Brittany stuck out her bottom lip in a way which reminded me of a five year old. "Also cannons can get fibromyalgia now"

"Does she mean cannon, as in the things from pirate ships" Thad says looking confused while still trying to look down Brittany's top.

"I have to go now" says Brittany standing up rather abruptly. "But first I have to give Blaine a picture". Brittany hops over to Blaine.

"Maybe it's a naked picture we can borrow" Nick whispered to Jeff looking a bit too hopeful. All boys' private schools can apparently get very lonely for straight boys. But for gay boys it's a fantasy. Seriously this is like my favourite one.

"I drew it myself" said Brittany looking proud. She shoved what appeared to a piece of construction paper into Blaine's hands.

"It's... a banana and a Pickle?" said Blaine looking very confused staring at Brittany like she was crazy. He should she is, all the new directions are. Including me.

"No its two dolphins drawn in yellow and green crayon" Brittany said staring at Blaine like he was an idiot. Oh the irony.

"I thought dolphins were gray" Said David.

"These dolphins are you and Kurt, now if you hurt dolphin Kurt the big sharks will eat you. Understand" Brittany was now looking the most intimidating I'd ever seen her in my entire life. Blaine seemed to be following along decently and seemed to decipher from that she was saying hurt Kurt and Santana, Puck and Mercedes will beat the crap out of you. He had the decency to look quite scared.

"Bye" chirped Brittany, grabbing Quinn's hand and skipping out of Dalton.

Suddenly Wes turns to me looking very confused and says three words.

What. The. Fuck.


End file.
